You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
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