well I can't set my house on fire every night
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
