okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
