can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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