dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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