dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
