my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Randomize
