i may or may not be watching the land before time
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
