just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I just found puke in my bra..
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
