i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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