first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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