i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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