So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
