You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Randomize
