My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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