I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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