mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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