You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
