Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
