Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Randomize
