Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
