I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
