You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Randomize
