And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
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