wat bout pragnant strippers??
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
