It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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