it's not cheating when I paid for it
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
