I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
