my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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