I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
