wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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