Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
