He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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