All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
