i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
