You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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