Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
