Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
