i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
zippers are such a cool invention
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
