I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize