new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Randomize
