i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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