you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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