my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I'm way too hungover for life right now
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
