I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
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