You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
