Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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