My friends, they love my intelligence
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
