i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
