first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
