the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
