I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
