I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
