hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
