get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
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