my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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