Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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